Sunday, June 29, 2008

To Get Together or Not To Get Together?

There is a group at the church we worship with called "The Young Married's." I fondly refer to them as "The Fertile People's Club." Up until now, Russ and I have attended many of the outings and events they have put on. The last few times have been exteremely difficult for us....ok, me. Finding ourselves knee deep in fertility treatments and going to get-togethers with families that have no idea what infertility is gets old real quick. Russ and I have not told these people about our infertility issues so we can't blame them for saying things to us like "when are you going to have children?" or "we won't make fun of you because you don't have children." But it hurts. Bad. For my own self-preservation, I can not go to these events anymore. The last event was so hard. I their house....luckily I was in a room with a closed door and only Russ knew, but still. So the question I'm having to ask myself is "Self, how do I need to deal with this?" Should we just suck it up and go and I'll be depressed the whole time and have to listen to women talk about their vaginal deliveries that took four hours or do I refuse to go and risk hurting the feelings of the host and hostess? I help teach a lot of these children in a Wednesday evening Bible Class and that is about all I can handle of beautiful children in a week. My heart just can not do this anymore. So, I'm going to go with the latter option and hope they'll be understanding.


Joy said...

Lisa - my husband and I are also in a young married class at church. At this point we are one of only two couples that does not have children. I have also started selective choosing the outings that we will attend. The longer we deal with infertility the fewer interactions. I know that God has a plan for me, and I pray each day that I am open to his plan. Put your trust in God with these decisions.

I Believe in Miracles said...

I think this is really hard too. If you figure out what to do, let me know! Our church is SUPER ferttile. I know some have struggled with infertility, but most of us who do aren't super open and talk about it. Maybe it's something we should be? Some suggested starting up the infertilty group at church or being available to talk to other couples, but I didn't want to be stimatized as such. Isn't that aweful.
I'm leaning now more towards having an outward focus -- something other than my infertility. I don't have an answer yet.
I'll be praying for you.