Monday, June 23, 2008

From the Mind of an Infertile

I used to think it was funny that the entire staff of the clinic I go to knows my name. Today, though, it was just a little bit depressing. Unfortunately, all that says to me is that I go to the clinic way too much. I've been seeking treatment since February of this year and all that has really happened are a few big girl cycles and no baby bump to show for the thousands of dollars we have spent. I know that sometimes you have to jump through some hoops to reach a goal, but this is getting a little old. Why is this so easy for some and so hard for others? I guess we can chalk this up to one of those things that make the world go around. And why is it that when I finally get to a state of mind that is okay with this battle, I start to feel depressed again? I know that it is all under God's control and that He will do according to His will, not mine. I also know that my doctor has my best interest at heart. He really is a great doctor and I would recommend him to anybody. I just get bogged down in the facts of infertility and knowing what I could be up against. There are so many things that could be wrong and it's scary to think that we've only just begun this roller coaster ride.

Here are some reasons I believe I will be a great mother:

1. I am a Christian and my handbook is the Bible.
2. I loved teaching Preschool and I love teaching Bible Class.
3. I know a ton of children's songs and the movements to go with them.
4. I can read Fox In Socks by Dr. Suess without getting tongue-tied.
5. I love going to the zoo.
6. I don't mind messes.
7. I want to share my Cabbage Patch Kids.
8. I want my backseat to be stained with baby slobber.
9. I am willing to buy that mini-van.
10. I have a ton of love in my heart specially reserved for a child.

Until next time Blogger Buddies.

No comments: