Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Follow-Up to My Vent

I was asked to make a list of things appropriate to say to someone who is going through infertility. The list I came up with is as follows:

1. "I'll be praying for you." This is the most comforting words you can give a person, at least one who believes in God.

2. "You're in my thoughts." Again, comforting, but also letting the infertile person know that you understand this isn't an easy thing to go through.

3. "Try not to lose hope." This let's the infertile person know that you are hoping for them and that they aren't alone in their hope.

4. "This, too, shall pass." I love this quote and I use it all the time. It reminds me that this world is fleeting and if this doesn't happen for me, it will be ok.

5. "God will make a way." I love to think like this. God is in control and His plan is better than mine!

What you could say to someone who is newly pregnant after a battle with infertility:

1. "Congratulations." This is the first thing that comes to my mind. There is no need to be pessimistic at the get-go.

2. "I'll be praying for you." If you feel pessimistic say this instead of "I hope you can carry it to term." It basically means the same thing with a lot more tact.

3. "I'm so happy that this is finally happening for you!" If you know how long the person has been struggling to get to this point, just be happy for them. They need your support.

4. "You must be completely thrilled." Something like this let's the person know that you understand the struggle they had and that you know how much they wanted this.

I hope this helps some of you. By the way, the same principle applies for people who talk to others with terminal illnesses such as HIV and cancer. Be careful with your words. You never know when they might hurt someone.


meisje said...

Those were very good words and it is really true how some people talk without thinking. Sometimes people should just keep their negativity to themselves.

The Family of N said...

my entry is posted.

Jackie said...

STILL thinking of you! :)

I love what you said about good things to tell a newly pregnant woman who has been trying to get pregnant for some time. I hope that many people responded in a way that made you feel excellent. You deserve it.

Also.... try pineapple with artichoke pizza next time you guys grab a pie! YUM!