1. If a woman and a little girl are walking on the yellow stripes in a parking lot, that doesn't mean you should try to hit them. If you subsequently get a dirty look from the woman for the incident, you should feel ashamed. Don't give her a dirty look back when it was your stupidity that caused the problem in the first place!
2. If you are in a line that is clearly marked "Speedy Checkout, 10 items or less" and you have a full buggy, please know that I think you are rude and that you should have taken yourself and your full buggy to a non-speedy checkout line. It's common courtesy, people!
3. Dear Angelina Jolie, there are other colors in the world besides black, gray and dull.
4. As for you Brad Pitt, it's called shampoo. Use some. I know you know what I'm talking about because you did use it when you were with Jennifer Anniston. Just because you are now with Maleficent doesn't mean you have to be gross, too.
5. And Minnie Driver, no one cares who your baby daddy is.
I am done. Goodnight.