Saturday, September 6, 2008

Lisa's List of Fashion Faux Pas

I happen to be a huge fashion fan. I don't actually buy Prada or Chloe, but I do enjoy seeing the artistry of fashion designers. I have my own list of what I believe to be fashion faux pas. Now, remember that I've only gotten into fashion in the last couple of years. We won't talk about the smiley face shorts and glow-in-the-dark Batman shirt I wore TOGETHER in high school. I'm hanging my head low right now.

1. Wife Beaters - who decided that wife beaters were acceptable to wear out in public? These things are about as see-through as the sheets at my doctor's clinic. Bad for men. Horrible for women...especially one's who are overweight, which unfortunately happens to be the ones I see most in them.

2. Pajama Pants - Again, who decided fleece pants with reindeer on them were acceptable for a shopping trip? Have you no pride in your clothing and body whatsoever? It doesn't take that long to put on a pair of jeans...they don't even have to be True Religions.

3. Knit Jersey Fabric - Sometimes knit jersey is okay in shirts if they are flowy. Dresses, on the other hand, are probably not the best thing to create out of knit jersey and it happens to be the fabric of choice at the present time in the fashion world. You have to be a size negative 10 to be small enough to be able to pull off knit jersey without it finding the tiniest flaw and exposing it to the world....but, then again, if you were a size negative 10 you would be dead. Tough choice.

4. Capri Pants - On some people...short ones. What happens when someone less than 5'8 puts on a pair of capri pants is that the person looks like they are standing in a bucket. Personally, I have one pair of capri pants and the only reason I wear them is because they hit my calf in the exact right spot and with the help of heels my legs look like they are miles long. But, I usually go with bermudas.

5. Gladiator Sandals - hate them. Just my opinion.

6. Aged Garments - Why would anyone pay money for something that looks like it came out of a dumpster. And why do people follow after this trend like it's the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced bread eventually goes stale and I can't wait until this trend follows suit.

7. Horizontal Stripes. I only know two people who look good in horizontal stripes and they are both about 14 and a size two...oh and babies. But for the rest of us who have real bodies and aren't emaciated, horizontal stripes need to be outlawed. What happens with horizontal stripes is that they draw the eye outward making you look wide. Sound fun? I didn't think so either. There are a few exceptions to this rule. Tiny horizontal stripes that blend in to look like a solid color until up close are okay. Also, if there is a solid color on top and the stripes are only in the smallest part of your waist, bringing it in, could work. Personally, I just don't ever use them because I look like an elephant.

8. Shorts and Flip Flops in Winter time - Hate it. If it's December, January, or February and you aren't in Cancun, skip the shorts and flip flops. It just makes you look stupid.

Okay, that's it for now. Take it for what it's worth...maybe a little more than a pile of rotten vegatables.

Have a great Saturday Blogger Buddies!


elephantscanremember said...

I really enjoyed that! I too have just gotten into fashion lately. It may be a self-confidence thing, or the fact that I have more money to spend on quality clothes. I have learned a lot from "What Not to Wear" on TLC. It's fabulous!

Maybe we could all get gussied up in our finest and post pictures of ourselves on the same day. Make it a sort of empowerment thing? I think that would be kind of cool.

~*JaYmE*~ said...

Haha. You crack me up!

Chelley N said...

Hey! I like my reindeer fleece pants AND I like wearing them in public! You can borrow them if you'd like :-)