Thursday, July 3, 2008

How to Deal

Isn't that the name of a movie that came out a few years back? If I remember correctly, that girl didn't deal well with anything, but it was a chick flick and it ended happily ever after. Oh, if that were the way it always happened. But, no, sometimes it ends like A Perfect Storm....where we don't make it. Wow, that was depressing (the movie and the statement). I just mean that it doesn't end up the way we want it to. I promise I'm not planning to die anytime soon, but infertility is really kicking my rear end. I am at a crossroads of whether I want to tell people about our issues or not. On one hand, I do, just to get it out in the open. But, on the other hand, I don't. People that haven't been through it don't understand and, inevitably, they won't say the right things. So, I've been struggling with this for a while now and as much as I want to just yell "I'm infertile!" from the mountain tops, I'm being held back. By something. What is it? Maybe it's the fact that people will tell me things like "relax" or "just stop trying." Or the fact that they will still insist upon showing me pictures of their bundles of joy while my arms are still empty. And while I am happy for people who are living out their dreams, I am also insanely jealous. I want what they have and I don't want to wait any more. Though, I have resigned myself to the fact that waiting is a part of this emotional game and I will just have to deal. Somehow.

1 comment:

I Believe in Miracles said...

Hey Lisa -- I think I've had butterflies in my stomach since the IUI... Totally can relate!

Email me at ifnity @ gmail dot com

I don't want to post on here about our discussion if such person might be reading it... I couldn't find your email on your blog or profile.