Dear Husband,

After 10 minutes of incessant doorbell ringing and door beating and I still don't answer, it's not because I think it is fun to leave you on the porch. It's because:

A. I'm in the bathroom.
B. I'm in the shower (which happened to be the case today).
C. I am so incapacitated that I can not get to the door and no amount of doorbell ringing or door beating will help me get there.

Also, since the only thing locked was the knob that you have a key to, just try that next time.

Thanks,
Your Annoyed Wife