Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A Response to a Comment about my Response

Was that confusing enough for you all? I am going to respond to another comment that I recieved in response to the earlier post about what a horrible, evil person I am. This will most likely be the last post about this because I don't want my blog to become a petty argument over the internet. I just want people to know where I'm coming from and who I am as a person.

"okay, so i'm going to anonymously comment on this post. ha. i just don't want a whole lot of new folks reading my semi-private blog. I will sign my name, though.she was pretty harsh, yes. I can see why you didn't appreciate her response. but, as a fellow christian who has followed your blog somewhat off and on (but missed that smoking post until you linked it today) I will add that your smoking post had some comments that showed a real lack of compassion that made me sad. that's all I'll say."

This Anonymous is correct. I didn't have a lot of compassion for the girl I posted about. She complained day in and day out about the precious life growing inside of her and refused to change her lifestyle for the good of her baby. I had to listen to this during a very difficult time in my own life. I was slowly coming to terms with my own infertility. It doesn't make it right that I had no compassion, but maybe it does shed some light on why I felt the way I did. I'm still mostly unsympathetic to her. I have a lot more sympathy for the baby who didn't have any kind of a chance or any kind of love shown to her until her death. I do feel bad for the mother who was so involved in herself and her own feelings that she couldn't come to love her baby. I know you could probably turn that around and say that I was too involved in myself and my problems at the time to have sympathy for her and you would be right. I think the whole situation was sad and I wish it would have been different.

One more thing before I close on this topic. I'm human. One thing I love about blogging is that I am completely real. If you know me in real life, I try to be completely real there, too. I show the good, the bad, and the ugly. I know there are areas in my life that I need to work on, compassion and sympathy for others being one of them. I relate exactly how I feel and if that offends someone, then so be it. I am prone to the same emotions and temptations as everyone else. I don't try to cover up anything because that would be a lie. If you don't like what I say or who I am as a person, you need to realize that I know I have a lot of growing to do. I am well aware of my personal flaws and I do strive to correct them. I am getting better about the compassion areas, but I am not going to cover up how I feel or felt at a particular time. It would be a lie and that isn't something I want to do in my blog or in my life. Life is way too short to not be real and to not share your true, deep down feelings. As I look back at these times in my life (while working with that girl, etc.), I do try to learn what I can from the situation. One thing I learned from her is that we all need to be very careful about what we complain about. One day it is there and the next it could be gone and we might not ever see it coming.

And that, my friends, is the end of my part of this discussion. Thanks for commenting on what I have said and thanks for reading about my life. Also, a big thanks to those who disagree with me in a respectful way and don't find it necessary to completely bash my head in about it.

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Anonymous said...

from the anonymous poster who forgot to sign her name last time. :) oops. i really appreciate your response here. I wasn't trying to call you out big time or anything, I was just saying that it sure seemed like the original anonymous poster reacted strongly, and the general lack of compassion I sensed was probably the cause for it, if I had to guess. BUT I wish I would have also said that I have no doubt you will love that little girl of yours well and A GAZILLION times a lot. :) That is obvious and man, oh man, was it a low blow for her to say you wouldn't. You will.

it is absolutely refreshing to read blogs that are honest and real and sometimes they expose our sinfulness as christians and so it's nice to read your acknowledgment of that, too.

a fellow sinner clinging to the cross,
laurie (ooh! i remembered this time!)

Tiffany said...

You know, I checked your blog out last night but wanted to do some thinking before I replied.

I'm a Christian as well, and am quite aware that we all sin and do not have a perfect outlook. I strive to be the best Christian I can be each day, yet every single day I have to ask God's forgiveness for several things. Many people would consider them minor, but they weigh on me. I do my best to not be judgemental because I know we are none worthy of God's grace. I know I might not able to understand exactly what another is coping with. I try to be compassionate. Still, there are consequences for our actions. I'm always amazed at how people don't want people to acknowledge they had any blame when things happen to them. I see nothing wrong with seeing where went wrong. Without that, there is no way to grow personally and keep from making the wrong decision.

However, I find it extremely frustrating when people do not see how precious life is. Every life. And see it as a gift from God. I'm not saying you were being the most gracious person in your posting, but I understand your frustration with the situation. I find myself often wondering why people are so quick to defend people that continually make very poor decisions that have serious consequences yet get upset with people that actually point out the person needs to evaluate their actions and perhaps learn something from the situation. One day we will each be held accountable for all of our sins. Including me, which keeps me fairly humble.

I tend to get wordy, but wanted to let you know that I think as Christians we cannot grow if we pretend we do not have certain areas of weakness. Nor can we as Christians sit around and criticize each other for the weakness, unless we have none (and correct me if I'm wrong, don't think anybody fits that description). I do think we should strive to live our lives as commanded, but the Bible provides us with so many passages on coping with our human emotions and weaknesses that I think God understands we have a constant struggle to do as He asks. Hang in there and keep blogging and growing. I enjoy reading it and find it refreshing and entertaining.