Do You Remember How I Said

I was going to be more relaxed this cycle. Well, here's my proof that I am!

This is my temp chart from last cycle, complete with every side effect/symptom I ever may have felt.

Here is my temp chart from this cycle...well, I guess I can't call it a temp chart anymore.

It really is amazing how much better I feel when I'm not scrutinizing every itch, ache, pain, and twinge.

Stay Relaxed Blogger Buddies!

The Story of Russ and Lisa

After rereading some of my current posts, I realized that this blog is a little depressing. I don't mean for it to be like that. I just write what I am feeling at the time and it just happened to be a few depressing blogs in a row. Soooooo....I'm going to tell all you Blogger Buddies about my hubby and I.

When my Mom and Dad moved to a new place, my Mom got a job with a chain kind of like Wal-Mart. She worked for a really great guy named Russ. HA! Yes, you guys have got it right! Russ was my Mother's boss!!!! So, she introduced us in July of 2002. We went on our first date on August 30, 2002...which happened to be my birthday! By the way, Russ' birthday is August 29...he's one day older than me! Russ then asked me to be his girl on September 4, 2002.

For our first date, Russ took me to see "Signs" in the theater. I was never into suspensful or scary movies at that time and I held his hand so tight that he had to lean over during the movie and say "I'm going to need that hand tomorrow."

So, we dated for a year and 4 months and we were engaged on December 24, 2003. We were married on September 4, 2004, 2 years to the day from when we started dating. And as they say, the rest is history.

Here are a few fun photos of us.

At our wedding, September 4, 2004

Still in love after six years together.

At Russ' graduation party, June 2008

Christmas 2007

Thanksgiving 2007
Thanksgiving 2007

Canoe Trip, August 2007

Summer 2007

Baseball Game, Summer 2007

Summer 2007

Summer 2007

Summer 2007

Christmas 2006

Summer 2006

Stay Cool Blogger Buddies!

Do You Ever Feel Like

You have put your life on hold for one moment? This is how I've been feeling lately. I'm waiting for that one moment where I look at the little pee stick and there are two lines, not just one. I'm waiting for that moment that is going to change our lives forever. And then I think to myself, why? Why am I not doing the things I want to do while waiting for that moment? After searching for the answer to this, it all comes down to money. I want to go to nursing school, but I would either have to quit my job or quit my infertility treatment. I want to buy a house, but I would have to make the choice between infertility treatments and buying that house. Russ and I were going to move, but we would have had to quit infertility treatments to do that. Plus, I would have had to get another job and there is usually a one year wait for "pre-existing conditions." So, I have found myself at the crossroads of a very important decision, one that can change my life. Do I continue with infertility treatments and put a hold on all of my other life goals or do I start living my life without the possibility of children? Obviously the latter isn't the way I'm going to go so I guess I just changed my life plans. Oh well, they probably wouldn't have worked out like I want anyway!

Make good decisions Blogger Buddies!

To Get Together or Not To Get Together?

There is a group at the church we worship with called "The Young Married's." I fondly refer to them as "The Fertile People's Club." Up until now, Russ and I have attended many of the outings and events they have put on. The last few times have been exteremely difficult for us....ok, me. Finding ourselves knee deep in fertility treatments and going to get-togethers with families that have no idea what infertility is gets old real quick. Russ and I have not told these people about our infertility issues so we can't blame them for saying things to us like "when are you going to have children?" or "we won't make fun of you because you don't have children." But it hurts. Bad. For my own self-preservation, I can not go to these events anymore. The last event was so hard. I cried....at their house....luckily I was in a room with a closed door and only Russ knew, but still. So the question I'm having to ask myself is "Self, how do I need to deal with this?" Should we just suck it up and go and I'll be depressed the whole time and have to listen to women talk about their vaginal deliveries that took four hours or do I refuse to go and risk hurting the feelings of the host and hostess? I help teach a lot of these children in a Wednesday evening Bible Class and that is about all I can handle of beautiful children in a week. My heart just can not do this anymore. So, I'm going to go with the latter option and hope they'll be understanding.

Site to Share

I love getting payment stubs that have procedure codes for whatever service the clinic provided for me. Ok, actually, I hate it. Why can't it ever say "Trans Vaginal Ultrasound" instead of code "76830"? So, I went on a mission. Yay for the internet. I found this great site! All I have to do is type in the procedure code to see what exactly they did to me that day. And I just wanted to share because I know many of you are probably getting the same types of bills that say things like "58340 - $227.00."

Stay Informed Blogger Buddies!

Alone With My Scary Thoughts

Like I said in a previous post, I love to walk. Not only is it good for my body, but it's also good therapy. It gives me a chance to think over things going on in my life. As you know, I love to research everything especially infertility. I've been reading about health risks included with infertility (besides not being able to conceive) lately. I found this and it is a little scary. For women who haven't had babies, the risk for ovarian cancer skyrockets. Then I found this which states that there could be a connection between ovarian cancer and ovulation inducing drugs, i.e. clomid. The evidence for this is inconclusive, but the thought is still scary. So, on my walks, I think about my infertility and now about the health risks associated with it, mainly ovarian cancer. I am a believer of not crossing bridges that I haven't come to, but I do believe in being informed. So the thought is still there in the back of my mind tormenting me and my walks from time to time. I don't know whether or not I will have ovarian cancer at a later age. I'm trying my hardest to get pregnant and reduce the chance, but if I don't my chances do go up. I am trying so hard to reduce my chances for other diseases by being healthier, but for this one thing I can't do anything about it. And the chances are still there, are still higher, and I have to accept the fact that I may not have biological children and I may get ovarian cancer. But, I also may be smashed by a piano falling from the sky so who knows what is going to happen.

Stay healthy Blogger Buddies.

To All My Blogger Buddies

When I first started this blog the only people who read it were my sis, my husband, and my Dad. Yeah, I was living the high life. Now, I actually have cyber pals...that comment on my blog. Yay! Go me! So to all of my new faceless friends, thanks. I appreciate you reading about my life and I appreciate your comments.

Thanks Blogger Buddies!

Fierce Loyalty

I have been told on more than one occasion lately that my doctor is not aggressive enough and that I need to move on to another doctor. I was really confused earlier today because I had just had a really good, informative appointment. I proceeded to post about it on the message boards on WebMD and got this negative feedback. So I called Russ and asked him what he thought. He agreed with the girls on WebMD. I was really upset about that for a while. Then I got to thinking. I am the one seeing my doctor. I am the one getting treatment. This is my decision. I like the way he is treating me. I like the fact that our personalities coincide so that I can actually enjoy our office visits during a time that is horribly emotional. I like the fact that he encourages me to research my options and to question him and the protocol. I believe he is aggressive. He started me right off on clomid after a bunch of questions and an ultrasound. He ordered an HSG after the first round of clomid didn't work. He has me do trigger shots to take all the guesswork out of the cycle. So, he wanted to do one more clomid/natural cycle. So what? I didn't mind. I'm glad he's thinking about me and what my body can do instead of his pocketbook. What is more aggressive? Ordering a laparoscopy before ever giving me the chance at clomid? Recommending IVF before trying anything else? I've been seeing him for four months. That's it. And I am happy.

Whatever keeps us young at heart

My mother and I went to see a dear woman who is confined to a nursing home on Sunday. When I didn't have a job (and trying to concieve full time) I used to go to a pillow making group at the church I am a member of. We made pillows for the pediatric wards of the hospitals here in town. Some of the ladies would sew up the edges, some would stuff them, some (me included in this one) would sew the open edge, and then some would tie bows on them. We made puppies, bears, and rectangular pillows. So I would see Miss Jenny every Tuesday for about a year. We would sit and sew pillows and chat about everything. Mom and I hadn't seen Miss Jenny for a while so we decided we needed to go see her. We walk in her room and she's sitting in a recliner. Her roommate is taking a nap. And what do you supose is on TV??? Hmmm??? I Want to be Made! MTV! Miss Jenny, who turned 80 on Monday, was watching MTV. I laughed and laughed about that!!! Whatever keeps her young, right?

Stay young Blogger Buddies!

Give Life...Give Blood

I am a walkin' foo!

Because I had nothing better to do this morning before work, I took my car and drove the route that I walk; both at home and at work. When I'm home, I walk 3.3 miles and when I'm at work, I walk 1.4 miles. Well, my blood pressure has been elevated since I've started fertility treatments. It likes to hang out at 140/90. I read on WebMD that this could be caused by hormone therapy. My doctor and my NP don't think it's because of that....probably the stress of infertility. Anyway, so I began an expirement to see what could be causing my high blood pressure besides stress. There was a list of things you could do to lower your bp on WebMD. It is as follows:

• Losing weight if you are obese or overweight. (check, I've lost over 60 lbs since May 2007)
• Quitting smoking (check, never did)
• Eating a healthy diet (check, I started eating healthier in May 2007)
• Reducing the amount of sodium in your diet (check, I've never salted my foods)
• Getting regular aerobic exercise (check, I'll get to this in a minute)
• Limiting alcohol intake to one per day (check, I don't drink....ever)
• Limiting your intake of red meat (check, I cut it out completely)

So, basically, I've done everything I could to lower my bp naturally. A couple weeks ago, during the week before graduation, I had way too much to do and didn't walk at all around my home. My bp was high that week. The next week I had eaten a lot of red meat, but was walking at home again. My bp was high that week, too. So, this week I walked around my home on Sunday evening and Monday morning, didn't eat any red meat for a week, went to the doctor Monday morning and my bp was 124/62. YAY for me! It's got to be a combination of walking and eating healthy....with a little less stressed out Lisa thrown in.

I added up the distance I have walked this week and it was 25.4 miles so far. I plan to walk again this evening and in the morning so my bp is nice and low when I go to the doctor tomorrow.

There is nothing more irritating

Than medical professionals on lunch smoking a cigarette. Every day during my lunch period, I take a walk. I always walk in between a hospital and a college campus. And every day I see people in scrubs smoking. I don't understand the deal with smoking anyway, but medical personnel should know better. They work with patients that have horrible diseases because of their smoking habit! I don't know whether anyone at the clinic I use smokes, but if I did know that my doctor smoked, I wouldn't use him anymore. I find it hard to trust in someone that is trying to make you healthy when they so blatantly don't care about being healthy themselves. I know that it is hard to stop, but I also know that every journey in life can be difficult. You get through it and you do what is best for you. If you don't, there are dire consequences that will be paid. "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" I Corinthians 3:16

Don't smoke Blogger Buddies!