2nd Beta Is In!!!

During the first week after you discover you are pregnant, a beta (hCG blood test) is supposed to double within 48 to 72 hours.

My first beta was on Friday and it was 44.

My second beta was this morning and it was 137.

First ultrasound will be next Wednesday.

Thanks for all the prayers and please keep them coming!!!

Just a Little Vent

It really gets to me that people can be so insensitive to others. I am totally guilty of this, but I try very hard to be more sensitive. I try not to say certain things or ask personal questions that are none of my business. Maybe this comes off as not caring, but it's better to not hurt someones feelings than to say something that could be rude, insensitive, or potentially damaging to a relationship. So, I have a couple of lists for you! You know how much a love making lists!



What you should NEVER say to an infertile person:

1. "Just relax." This is the worst thing you could say to someone who is going through infertility. They know and their doctor's know that no amount of relaxing is going to change the fact that you have a hormone imbalance, you have no fallopian tubes, or you have fibroids in your uterus.

2. "Go on vacation." Seriously? Just because you happened to go on vacation during ovulation and you just happened to get pregnant doesn't mean that's going to happen to everyone else, too.

3. "Stop trying." HA! For people who are infertile and don't want to be, this is like telling a maggot not to eat the dead bird on the ground. It's useless. The dead bird is going to be ate by maggots and infertile people are going to keep on trying to have a biological baby.

4. "Just adopt." This is a bit of a pet peeve of mine because I am guilty of saying this to someone very close to me. If I could take those few seconds back, I would. Adoption is a wonderful oportunity. Don't get me wrong, I have always wanted to adopt. But it turns into something very bittersweet when it becomes the only way you will ever become a parent.

5. "Is it you or him?" This is completely insensitive. Why would someone ever think that this is an acceptable question? No matter who it is in the relationship, we are in this together and it really doesn't matter and it's none of your business!

6. "You should be happy you don't have children. You can still sleep late and don't have to listen to crying babies." For someone who wants to have to get up for 2:00 a.m. feedings, this is not something they want to hear. After having tried for years to get pregnant, we are ready to take this next step and we want to have the responsibility to take care of a child. Also, it's a little sad that you aren't enjoying your baby the way you should if you think in this manner.

7. "There are worse things that could happen...like cancer." Unless you have battled infertility AND cancer, then I don't want to hear this. How would you know whether cancer is worse or not? Both of these conditions are devestating for families. Yes, cancer can end in death. So what? That thought doesn't take the pain of infertility away.

8. "Maybe God doesn't want you to be parents." This is just cruel. Enough said.



Now, here is a list of things not to say to a newly pregnant infertile woman. If you know someone who is infertile and may become pregnant please, I beg you, please don't say these things. They are insensitive and some are even rude.

1. "I didn't even know you were trying." I'm sorry for not revealing the most intimate parts of my life to you. Next time, I'll send you a card to tell you and I'll go ahead and enclose a calendar of my cycle.

2. "Well, I hope you can carry it to term." I, for one, am a realist. I understand that things happen and may not work out. I don't need to hear it from someone else. This is not only insensitive, it is cruel. Please don't say this to ANYONE!

3. "I didn't think you were ever going to have a baby." Thanks for the vote of confidence. I am so glad I decided to tell you about my pregnancy. Are you the least bit excited for me?

4. "You wanted this." This is sometimes said after an infertile, pregnant woman says something about her cramps, hemorrhoids, or gestational diabetes. Yes, we want to be pregnant, but we really aren't looking forward to all the pain that comes with it.

5. "Just be thankful you got pregnant." Yes, we are thankful. But, no one in their right mind would be thankful for all the lovely side effects of carrying a child in their womb. I.E. pain, cramps, hemorrhoids, gestational diabets, etc. Also, especially don't say things like this if you asked how the said pregnant person was doing.


I hope this makes some people think about the things they say. It made me feel better anyway!

Stay Cool Blogger Buddies!

It's Definitely....

4 Door Family Car: $15, 929.00

Infertility Treatments: $8,342.00

Digital Pregnancy Tests: $20.00

Seeing a "pregnant" on the test after three years of infertility: Priceless

Do You See What I See?

Yep, that's right! Surprise!

There is a good story behind this, but I'm going to leave that for another post. I went in for hCG beta and it was 44. Anything over 5 is pregnant!

More Decisions

I know I said that I was going to do one IUI and if that didn't work go on to the laparoscopy. I'm not so sure about that anymore. This is how I always am. I decide something, but when it comes right down to it, I can't decide if I want to stick with the original plan or not. The conundrum is this: if I do the laparoscopy, there might not be anything wrong in there or I might do the IUI with progesterone supplement and it could work this time. So what to do? What to do? I know my hubby is all for trying another IUI. I'm leaning this way if my doctor puts me on progesterone. I'm just going to have to see at my consult. Wish me luck!

Equation

110 million little swimmers + 3 mature follicles = negative

Humph.

Not as Upset Anymore

After thinking about and analyzing my infertility treatment protocol, I realized that the progesterone problem really isn't Obi-Wan's fault (you see, I'm not mad at him anymore, I'm calling him by his nickname again!). The first cycle it was low, it was a 9.82. That's not that low and we were hoping it was just a fluke. The cycle before that, it was 21. So, we waited for a cycle to start any treatment on it. So, the next cycle, my progesterone came back at 8.76. It dropped again and we talked about treating it during the fifth cycle. Unfortunately, during my cycle day three consult, the computers went down. Plus, we were deciding on the course of action to take: IUI's or surgery. I had a lot of questions for him during that consult and forgot to ask about it. I know, I know. I should write my questions down. I will do that if I have to have another cycle day three consult. So, basically, after obsessing for a couple days about trying to find a new doctor, etc., I realized that it wasn't really his fault. He has a ton of infertility patients and I don't expect him or anyone else in that office to memorize my chart. I'm sorry I vented about this problem and I'm sorry I was so mad about it. I'm going to blame that on the hormones. If I'm not satisfied with the way the next consult goes, I will be saying something, though. Fun, fun!

Walking with Russy

I finally guilted Russy into walking with me. We went together last night and tonight. Last night, we walked around the perimeter of the golf course. It was around 9:30 p.m. and the sprinklers were on. Russy looked at me and said "Want to go run through the sprinklers?" To his amazement, I said "YES!" So we took off across the golf course and had ourselve a good ol' time in the sprinkler system. Russ did get pelted really hard in the head by one, but it was tons of fun anyway!

Tonight while walking:

Black, suped up car passes us.

Russ: Do you know what the sound was?"

Me: "Sure. It was NOS."

Russ: *incredulous look*

Me: "I'm the coolest wife ever for knowing that aren't I?"

Russ: "You are the coolest wife ever!"

For those of you that don't know what NOS is: NOS

Stay Cool Blogger Buddies!

Walking in Sonlight

The church I am a member of has an annual Vacation Bible School and it kicked off last night. I'm teaching the 4's, 5's, and Kindergarten class. I taught this same class last year for VBS and loved it! I am usually co-teaching the 2's and 3's on Wednesday evening and it's nice to have children that can write and somewhat read for a change. Here is our class schedule:

Sunday: "Put God First" - Abraham,Geneiss 12:1-3; 18:1-19
Monday: "Take His Word to Heart" - Moses, Exodus 3:1-22; 4:1-17
Tuesday: "Save Your Friends" - Esther, Esther 4:10-17; 5:1-3
Wednesday: "Keep the Son in Your Eyes" - Peter, Matthew 14:25-33, Mark 6:45-51, John 6:15-21
Thursday: "Be Chosen Vessels" - Paul, Acts 9:13-18

Study God's Word Blogger Buddies!

Bible Class Funnies

My mother and I teach a 2 and 3 year old class on Wednesday evening.

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From the mouth of babes:

M: "I am going to go to the fair tomorrow night!"

T: "We don't go to the fair because of the freaks with weird hair."

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Rejection at age two:

A: grabs T-Roy's hand to hold

T: looks at her like she is insane and pulls his hand away

A: grabs his hand again to hold

Miss Jody: "A, I don't think T wants to hold your hand...."

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While teaching class about the Ethiopian Eunuch:

Miss Lisa: "Who is this man?" (pointing to a picture of a man in a chariot)

C: "The Philadelphian man!"

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Miss Lisa: "T-Roy, what do you want to sing?"

T: "The Fishing Boat Song."

M: "When my dad and I go fishing, the fish never come!"

Frustrations and Orcs

I'm completely frustrated with my doctor. I really love the guy, but enough already. Good chemistry is only half the battle. Let's get some answers. Let's treat my problems and let's get on with it. Why is it that my progesterone has been under 10 for three cycles and nothing is being done about it? The last few times I went in (besides my IUI with the NP), he acted like he was swamped and didn't really have time to talk to me properly. I pay $71.00 for each visit with him! He should make the time to have a proper consult! And why has my progesterone been low for three cylces? He should have switched something up when it was low the first time. I'm so frustrated I could scream! Russ and I are staying in this city so I can continue seeing this guy and now I'm second guessing all of that. Plus, I am adamant about not blindly following your doctor and being informed and what am I doing? The exact thing I tell others not to do! I'm blindly following his orders because I'm a pushover and I won't stick up for myself. NOT ANYMORE! This is the last cycle we aren't going to do anything about my progesterone. If he doesn't prescribe me SOMETHING or answer my questions to my satisfaction, treatment with him is not going to happen anymore. I'm frustrated. I'm depressed. I'm confused about why this isn't working. I mean, COME ON! I'm thinking about drawing a map on my uterine walls for the little swimmers. Or maybe drawing a map on my ovaries for my eggies. Something isn't working right and I need answers. Oh, and why am I even checking my stupid progesterone levels if they aren't going to do anything with the data? I have to pay $91.00 for the blood work and $9.00 for idiots to puncture my vein to get the blood. $100.00 so that we can just see the number and not do anything with it? I don't think so. Not anymore. Unfortunately, if he doesn't make me happy the next time I go in, then I guess we're on an indefinite break. There isn't a reproductive endocrinologist in town and the closest one is three hours away so that is simply not going to happen. He has made a very hormonal, very infertile woman very angry.

On a completely different note, I had an interesting dream last night. My sis recently posted about a dream she had been having and asked for interpretations. I don't need interpretations. I know my dream just means that I am completely insane and not fit to be out in public. At the beginning of my dream I was in a wheelchair. Not because I had to be, just because I was. So I was wheeling along a red carpeted path that wasn't wide enough for the chair. At the edges of the paths were drop offs into water (I assume it was very bad water because I was scared the whole time). I kept losing my balance and my wheels kept sliding off, but I would always save myself just in time. I got to the end of the path and there was a large area with a door. I was there and these two Asian children came up to me. I had something that was extremely important and I didn't want whoever I was running from to get it. I gave it to an Asian boy about two years old. I wanted him and his sister to hide it for me. Then I was in a white house. I was with some other people (Russ wasn't in this dream, my sub-conscious apparently decided not to include him). We were hiding, waiting for the Orcs to come. We were going to fight them. I was behind a sofa and the others were behind other furniture and in closets. So, the Orcs came, but since we were in an American neighborhood, they had disguised themselves as Humans. They filed into the living room and we ambushed them. I had a round, hand blade and I cut one of them and ran out of the house. I ran through the backyard of the house next door and opened their gate. I saw an Orc chasing me. It was dressed as a curly, blonde headed woman. The gate I just went through was to a chainlink fence and it was a double gate with a rebar holding the left side in place. I grabbed the rebar and stabbed the Orc through with it. There wasn't any blood. My sub-conscious also decided to be PG for this dream. I ran back to the house and there wasn't anyone in there. I got into the closet, but the doors were too short to cover the whole opening. I covered up with some clothes to hide. Then I remember that we won the battle and we defeated the Orcs. So, insane? Yes. Too much Lord of the Rings? I don't think I've seen any of them completely through so probably not.

Blood Work

I went to the clinic yesterday to get my progesterone checked. This is the same hormone that has been low the last two cycles. The nurse called this afternoon and said my level was 8.02. So it went down again. The goal is to be above ten and I haven't been above ten in three cycles now. There is still a small chance that I could be pregnant this cycle but my hope is pretty much gone now. My doctor didn't put me on progesterone suppositories. I'm not exactly crying about that, but something needs to be done.

When I went to get my blood drawn, the normal phlebotomist wasn't there. She is out for five weeks. So, a girl calls me back and she puts the turniquet on my right arm. I told her that is the arm everyone uses. My left arm doesn't have a pokable vein. She pokes on my arm, trying to find a vein, for two minutes. She then decides to check my left arm. After deciding that I was truthful with her, she goes back to the left and says that my veins are really tiny and she has to go get someone else to do it. What!? Why are you a phlebotomist if you can't take my blood? The normal girl has never complained about my "tiny veins" and she had an intern that took my blood twice and had no problem. So the next lady comes in (I hadn't ever met her either) and she takes my blood. She poked the needle in soooooooooo slowly and then removed it at the same slooooooooow pace. I just wanted to say something like "In and out, not that difficult!" Then she proceeds to tell me that she doesn't usually take blood. She does IV's. She does them in the wrist and has hit bone before. WHAT!?!?!? Why would you tell me that when I am still holding a piece of cotton on my freshly poked arm? Seriously, talk about that on your own time, not when a patient is in the chair!

For a laugh:

Things medical personell should never say:

1. "Oops"
2. "I've hit bone before"
3. "I'm actually not qualified to do this procedure."
4. "You're trying to get pregnant? Are you on birth control?"
5. "Here, cover up with this see-through sheet."
6. "Today's my first day."
7. "Hmmmm. Never seen that before."
8. "That's some nose. I can fix that."
9. "Wow. You're a bleeder!"
10. "So, what are we doing today?"

Stay Fun Blogger Buddies!