A Lifetime of Embarrassment....in One Blog

I never cease to embarrass myself. I am constantly doing things that are stupid or don't make sense. One time, when I was working at a place where I used to live, my coworker had a file cabinet in his cubicle. Not thinking, I was going to close his cubicle off (I don't really know why I was doing this and not working) so I took the drawers and opened all of them so he couldn't get out. Well, idiot that I was being, didn't stop and think that if I pulled all the drawers out (full of files), the cabinet wouldn't be heavey enough to support that. Anyway, there was a crash and a lot of laughing....and luckily my boss wasn't in the office at that particular time. That's just one example of the silly things I do without thinking. And for some reason, I dwell on these embarrassing stories and I don't want to hear them or think about them. I guess I am ashamed that I'm human?? Well, I've decided to put a stop to that right now. I am going to reveal the source of years of embarrassment. I'm tired of trying to stifle this information from coming out. I'm going to shout my nickname to all of humanity....on the internet! My nickname is TOOT!!!!! Yes, I have normal, human problems...gas. When you stop laughing, read on to find out the story behind this name so cleverly given to me by my dad. My first recolection of this name was when my family went to see my Aunt and Uncle who live in a different state. We went south of the border and, unfortunately, ate some authentic Mexican food. This was not condusive to a pleasent, non-smelly trip back to the states. Thus, the creation of the nickname Toot came about. It's ok to laugh. I'm laughing, too. My dad says that this wasn't the first time he called me that. Either way, it's the first time I remember being upset by it. So, there you have it. My nickname, on the internet, for all the world to see. I'm done with it. I did put a stop to dad calling me that a couple of weeks ago. I found out that toot/tute is a slang word for prostitute. So, now it's Tooty. As a side note, my toots are like grenades, but Russ's are like the atom bomb that destroyed Hiroshima and Nagasaki.