My Favorite Pastime....

...is taking pictures of my sweet baby! Here are a few from this past week.

Snuggling with my Munchkin.
She is starting to smile a lot more...I just can't get the really cute ones with my camera!

Lovin' my boppy and my tummy time. She scooted herself forward a tad the other day with her crazy legs!This is how I roll, yo! Her shirt says "I can't wear PINK everyday."
Momma and Chloe Jo. Lovin' our black shirts...of course they stayed black for all of 5 minutes. Just enough time to take pictures before she spit up all over the both of us.

Hello. I'm Murphy and this is my Law.

Chloe decided to wake up at 2:45 last night. Ugh. She then decided that she didn't want to go back to sleep until 4:00. I guess I spoke too soon. Though, I still feel rested from all the sleep I got a couple of nights ago. Maybe she'll do better tonight. Fingers crossed!

Wordless Wednesday

Sleepy Chloe

I'm really amazed at how well Chloe has done during the night since she's been here. The first couple of weeks she would fall asleep around 11 or 12 and sleep until 3 and then sleep until 6. I felt like that was great! I was getting a good 3 hours of sleep in between feedings and was thrilled with that. Then she started sleeping from 11 or 12 to 4 and then until 7. Woo hoo! Even better! The week we were out of town messed up her schedule some, but she was still sleeping okay. From 11 to 3 and then until 6. Last week she started sleeping from 10 until 5! We. Were. Thrilled. And last night she slept from 10 to 7. It. Was. Wonderful. I feel so rested!

I know what you guys are thinking. She shouldn't complain about colic if the child sleeps through the night. And you would be right. Even if this doesn't last, it has been great.

Jon and Kate

I watched the season premiere of Jon and Kate Plus Eight tonight. I'm not an avid fan of the show. I have watched it here and there when there isn't anything else I'm interested in on. I actually wanted to see this episode, though. I waited all last week to see it. I don't know why I suddenly was interested. I wasn't interested in the stories in magazines about Jon cheating on Kate. I never even opened any of those magazines. I never watched any of the stories on TV about the issue. But, I wanted to see this episode.

I've always thought that, judging by the episodes I have seen, Kate is kind of mean to Jon and that Jon kind of deserves it. Kate runs around doing this and that and Jon pretty much has to be told everything to do. This isn't that unusual. This is how many couple function including Russ and I. It just looks worse when it is broadcasted on national TV.

There were a couple of things that really bothered me about this episode. First, Kate said that somewhere along the way Jon and her became different people and that they aren't on the same path anymore or something to that effect. What I want to know is when were they ever the same person? They've always been super different, but it's always worked for them in the past. What changed there? Also, what do they think marriage is? It's a series of compromises. It has to be for it to work. Marriage involves being on the same path and if they are on different paths, then one of them needs to compromise and get on the same path. That's what it's all about. I believe that is part of the reason the divorce rate is so awful. People want what they want when they want it and there is no compromise about anything. It's either my way or the highway. What a horrible way of thinking. No wonder this country (and world really) is going to pot. The other thing that bothered me is that they are tired of the paparazzi. Okay, I can see that. It must be very annoying to walk out your front door and be swarmed by camera men. I can't help but think "what did you expect?" They signed up to do a show that was going to be aired on national TV. They have done numerous seasons of the show. What did they expect would happen? I understand wanting to document their children's lives, but what did they seriously expect?

After that episode, I'm not interested anymore. I may catch an episode now and again, but as for watching it religiously every week? I don't think so.

This one's for you, Uncle Jeremy!

It's Official - I'm a Moron

Okay, maybe moron is a little too harsh. Hopeful. That's better.

I called that marketing company back to schedule a time for the second interview. A girl answered the phone (not the same one that called me) and acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. I explained that I had already been pre-screened and the man told me to call back to schedule a time for the second interview. She set me an appointent for today at 2:00 p.m.

I showed up at 1:45 p.m. as they requested and the girl (I went to church with her a few years ago and she is a friend of the girl who recommended me to the company) who was greeting today told me to fill out the same application I had sort of filled out on Tuesday. I went ahead and she asked a few questions. We chatted a bit about the church I attend and the friend who recommended me.

After a few minutes I was called back to interview along with another guy. I was just thinking that this is retarded and I shouldn't have wasted my time. Two people interviewing at the same time is not a good sign. The man interviewing today was the same guy that was greeting and was rude to me Tuesday. He started talking about the position and I asked him if it was a work from home position. He said no. I said that was what I was told when the company called me and that I wasn't interested. He said that's okay and asked me to leave through a second door in the office leading out into the hallway. He made me feel like I had wasted his time and the fact that I couldn't leave through the lobby made me feel like I was tainted or something. I wish I had went back into the lobby and just yelled at everyone to get out and that it was a scam! Though, making a fool of myself wouldn't have done anything productive besides made me feel better for a couple minutes.

I just don't understand why they contacted me, told me that it was a work from home position, had me come Tuesday to "interview" and told me then that it was a work from home position, then had me come in again today and changed the story. It was a complete waste of my time. If I see the girl who recommended me anytime soon I am going to have words with her. I also am going to complain on the website of the company. The whole situation was just ridiculous and I feel like such an idiot. Though, if I hadn't went today I would always wonder if I had missed a chance. Now I don't wonder.

Ugh

I am now the owner of a perscription....for birth control pills. Sigh.

I had my post partum check up yesterday. Everything looked fine and dandy and my doctor/his medical assistant talked me into getting a perscription. And yet, I haven't gotten it filled...and I don't know if I'm going to. I'm left with a huge decision to make. A decision that I have thought about and pondered for a while now. What do I do? Do I go ahead and start the pills and run the risk of losing out on this what is generally fertile time in my life possibly missing the chance to have another baby or do I completely throw caution to the wind and forget about the perscription? I'm not sure I'm going to go back to work. Russ has started seriously looking for a preaching job. Most of these positions don't pay for insurance so we will be buying out of pocket. That means that we won't have maternity because it is so stinking expensive...plus there is the added bonus of a waiting period.

What I want to do is throw all caution to the wind. There is a possibility that I won't be able to have another baby anyway even with more treatments. But there is also the posibility that I will all of the sudden become a fertile myrtle and get pregnant again right away. That's scary, but it would be such a blessing. The cost factor is what is making this decision difficult. The logical side of me says to take the birth control. It's for the best financially. But my heart is tellling me different.

Why does infertility have to be so hard??? Even after a baby there are still hard decisions that have to be made and it stinks!

Cranky Chloe Jo

We believe Chloe Jo has colic. Yesterday and Monday she cried for hours. The only time she wasn't crying was when she was eating or sleeping. This makes for one frazzled Momma. I just felt so bad that nothing I was doing would satisfy her. Then to make matters worse (or better depending on how you look at it) my Mom came over on Monday and got her quieted down within five minutes. She is a pro and I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. When she is with me she wants to nurse. This would be fine if she was actually hungry, but I'm not a pacifier and when she had just eaten a few minutes before I know that is not the problem. I make her eat a full meal (usually 30 minutes is the norm for her). I refuse to be a pacifier so that just leaves me one other option most of the time: listen to her cry. And I hate it. I hate that she needs to nurse to be comforted. I hate that she doesn't seem happy most of the time. I hate that she gets tummy aches after each feeding. Then this morning Russ said that he doesn't think she is getting enough when she nurses because she is always cranky afterwards but when we give her a bottle (I pump every day) she seems satisfied. I don't personally think that is it. I think she doesn't swallow as much air when we give her a bottle so she doesn't have a tummy ache afterwards. I feel like I'm producing enough milk. Though, I have been stressed lately so I don't know for sure. I can hear her swallowing and she always takes herself off when she is finished. I don't know what the deal is.

My sweet girl did decide to take a nap this morning so that has been nice. I've been able to do laundry and tidy up a bit. I am also in the process of making a card. I put her in the swing before she got too fussy and she has been napping in it. Even with all of the colic and crying, she is the sweetest thing ever and when she does find it necessary to give me one of her gummy grins, my heart explodes with love. And the colic will pass....hopefully soon.

Here are some pictures from last week.
I love this picture. It is so full of personality and she is so happy.
This picture cracks me up. I have it set as the wallpaper on my computer. Everytime I open my computer I just have to laugh!
Daddy and Chloe Jo
Granny Tiger and Chloe Jo. They are having themselves a wonderful conversation.

Grand Pappy, G-Jo, Momma, Chloe Jo and Granny Tiger. Grand Pappy and Granny Tiger are my Mom's parents. Grand Pappy suffers with alzheimers and didn't know me a few times last week. It is heart wrenching to see and experience the effects of this horrible disease.
One family. Four generations.

Waste of Time and Energy...Or Not?

About an hour into our trip last Monday, I recieved a phone call from a company wanting me to come interview. I couldn't hear part of what the lady was saying and I was having a hard time concentrating on the conversation anyway. I did get some of it. The company is a marketing company and a girl that I know recommended me for a position. It is a full time, work from home starting at $15.00/hour. The pay rate is a base rate and is not dependent on sales. While piecing this information together while my cell phone is cutting in and out, I made an appointment for an interview. I wasn't excited about the interview then and for some reason, I never did get excited. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't have any idea who this company was. Or it could have been that my mind was elsewhere at the time. Whatever the reason, I wasn't excited...and I wasn't excited today when I left to go to the interview.

I left for the interview in plenty of time to find the building. I had looked up the address on mapquest to see where it was approximately to make it a little easier to find. Yeah right. I drove around for at least 15 minutes trying to find the place. I finally realized it was a dodgy looking old apartment complex that is now being used as offices. The name of the place I was supposed to be going to wasn't even on the marque.

I ended up just chosing one of the entrances and walking around. The place was completely creepy and I felt like I was in The Shining. There were tons of vacant "offices" and most of the ones that were occupied didn't have signs saying what they were. I walked all around the first and second floors and didn't find what I was looking for. I also didn't see a single person. I just kept thinking that this was weird and I should just leave but couldn't bring myself to for some reason.

I finally went back out to my car and called the lady to see where the office was. She directed me to the place and I finally made it...at 1:00 on the dot. I was supposed to be 15 minutes early so I could fill out an application. I walked in the door and there were about 10 people sitting in the lobby waiting for interviews which I wasn't expecting. There was a greeter there and after I told him my name he said "You should have been here 10 minutes ago." I found that completely rude, but I was later than they told me to be so I guess I deserved it. He then told me to fill out an application and to hurry as fast as I could because I needed to be in the interview right then.

I started to fill out the application and the rude guy came back up to me before I had gotten very far and said I needed to go to the interview right then. They couldn't wait on me to fill out the application. Okaaaaaaay. He points to a door that has no name plate or window and I wonder if I am going to be eaten by a lion if I open it.

I walked in and the man introduces himself. He then fills out the "pertinent" information on the undone application that I handed him. He then says that they are looking for someone who is punctual and a few other words that I can't remember. I only remember the punctual because I was later than they wanted me to be. He then asks me to give him one word that my friends and family would use to describe me. I hate that question. Plus, I was already frazzled from not being able to find the place. I said "kind to everyone." Ha! My friends and family wouldn't use that to describe me.

I was in the "interview" for all of two minutes. The man said that he was only prescreening and that I seemed like a person they would like to hire. He asked if I could stay for a second interview. Russ was at home with Chloe and he needed to go to work and so I couldn't. He said I could call and schedule an interview when I found out when I could come. It has to be at 2:00 p.m. so this limits me.

I don't know what to do. I want to just forget about it and move on. On the other hand since I was recommended by a girl I know (I'm assuming she is working for them), it pays well and it is a work from home position, I feel like I should pursue it and see what happens. Russ thinks I should forget about it because he has been burned by places like that too many times. I just don't know what to do. I'm probably going to end up scheduling the second interview for Thursday if they will still let me. Since I didn't call back today I don't know if they will or not. Though, he never said I had to call back today. I just figure it would have been better if I had.

That's Just Who She Was

I have been thinking a lot about my Aunt Diana and her family. There are a few things about Aunt Diana that stick out in my mind the most. She was always giving. She was always thinking about others. The song we sang as children in bible class describes her perfectly. "J-O-Y. J-O-Y. Tell me what it means. Jesus first. Yourself last and others in between." While we were at the hospital last Tuesday (we were sitting with family and waiting on the mortuary to arrive), her friend of 20-some odd years was talking with me. She was telling me how excited Aunt Diana was about Chloe Jo. Aunt Diana had been battling the leukemia since September of last year. She did have a brief three weeks of remission before the disease came back full force. During those three weeks, she had called me and told me that she was planning a baby shower for me. She had been in remission at this point for all of a week. That's just the kind of person she was. She always thought about others even though she was going through a dark time in her life.

Sissy's Song by Alan Jackson

Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me

Aunt Diana

Monday morning, my father called to tell me that my Aunt Diana (who has been battling leukemia for 9 months) wasn't doing well at all. My Mom had just went to see her and had arrived home on Sunday. It was Monday and they were getting things in order to go see her again. She lives about a 5 hour drive from where we live. I hung up the phone and realized how serious this had become. I talked to Russ and we decided that I should go, too. I called Mom back and she said that was fine. I packed a bag for myself and packed up a ton of stuff for Chloe Jo. Mom and Dad came to pick me up and we went to their house so they could pack their bags. We were on the road within a couple of hours.

Mom told me that the doctors and Aunt Diana's family had made the decision to take her off of comfort care and that it was just a matter of time. This process had the potential to take a couple of hours or a couple of weeks.

We arrived at the hospital at 8:00 p.m. that evening. Mom and Dad went to her room to see her while I sat with Chloe Jo in the waiting room with some other family. I was able to go see her after Dad came back and took Chloe Jo. I was able to say hello to her and I just sat with her and my Mother and Aunts for a while. She didn't know I was there, but I'm so glad that I was able to see her that evening.

Tuesday morning Mom recieved a call from Aunt Diana's daughter that she had passed away. Her struggle with leukemia had been long and difficult, but that disease can not cause her pain anymore. She has gone to be with the Lord and we are so thankful that she isn't in pain.

Russ was able to come Wednesday to be with us as well as my sister and brother Jeremy and their families. Visitation was on Thursday evening and the funeral was Friday morning. My other brother, Shane was able to make it to the funeral.

This has been an extremely tough week for us and especially Aunt Diana's husband and children. Please pray with us for her family and friends.

My First Mother's Day

Russ, Chloe Jo and I went out of town so Russ could preach today so we celebrated Mother's Day on Saturday. I got up at 8:30 a.m. to feed Chloe Jo and Russ brought me a card and present. Chloe Jo and he bought me a pair of diamond earrings. Love them! They are gorgeous and I will treasure them! Then I got to choose what I wanted for breakfast. I had Russ pick up some Waffle House (mmm...cheesy eggs and a waffle). Then we just hung out at home with Chloe Jo. I also got to choose what I wanted for lunch and I chose pizza. I know, I'm the most expensive wife ever! Russ did have to go to work at 2:30 p.m. and then I ended up at Urgent Care with Chloe Jo that afternoon.

This day is enormously special since it took us so long to get here. I know that I've waited 4 years to be able to celebrate today as a Mother. I also know that many of you that read have been hoping for that very thing for as long or longer than I have. I hate that anyone has to go through even a small part of what we did to become parents. I understand the hurt, the frustration, the endless mornings temping and using ovulation kits. I also understand the hope that lies within the hearts of families wanting to have babies. I sincerely hope that if you weren't able to celebrate Mother's Day this year, you will be able to next year.

Umbilical Woes

I hate CJ's umbilical cord stump. Yes, she is four weeks old and it is still there. Grrrr. It just refuses to fall off. So yesterday I noticed that it was looking a little pink around the stump. It also has had some drainage. Every time I touched it to swab it with alcohol she would cry. Sometimes it was a cry like she was hurt and sometimes it was a cry like she was just mad and wanted me to leave her alone. I thought that I would give it the weekend and see what happens. If it was worse on Monday I would call the doctor and see what she thought about it. Well, it was worse today. A lot worse. It's all red and puffy around the stump and the drainage is just gross. So what did Momma do? Why she looked up information about it on the Internet. Was this smart? Probably not. Of course it turns up all these horrifying scenarios about what could happen from the cord being just find to the bottom half of her body rotting away (okay, maybe they weren't quite that bad). I decided to call the pediactrics clinic and see if there was on on-call nurse that I could talk to. The phone number sent me to Pediatrics Urgent Care and I left my name and number for someone to call me back. When they did, I explained what was going on and she advised me to bring CJ in to have a doctor look at it. So here I am, a brand new mother, thinking the worst about my poor baby's umbilical cord stump. By the time I left to take her to urgent care, I had convinced myself that I had ruined her belly button and she was going to go through the rest of her life with a maimed navel because her stupid mother didn't do something right. Well it ended up not being that bad. The hard part of the stump (where the hospital cut the cord and sealed it) is rubbing her belly raw. The doctor said that she could give her some oral antibiotics for it, but she didn't think it was necessary at this time. She advised me to put neosporin on it and keep rubbing it with alcohol. She said the cord looked fine and that the drainage is normal. She did go ahead and cauterize part of it because it was so goopy. Hopefully it will fall off soon. The drainage has stained almost all of CJ's onesies and I hate it when she cries at me when I swab it with the alcohol. An odd thing about today is that the doctor who saw us is the one I was originally assigned to in the hospital. I declined her because her office is in a different town south of here and I wanted someone here. She was so great that I almost wish she was here in town, but I do like the doctor I ended up with. I do wonder if any of these doctors get annoyed when young, first time mothers, such as myself, come in to the office or to urgent care when it isn't really necessary. Though, I didn't know and it is better to be safe than sorry! Last, CJ is up to 8 pounds 4 ounces, the little porker!

Wearing My Baby

I love me some baby wearing!

And it looks like Chloe Jo loves it, too! P.S. Before you comment about how this is some new form of cruel and unusual punishment, please note that she isn't crying about being in the sling and the sling is completely mesh around her head for optimal breathing. It also comes equipped with a safety harness so she doesn't fall out.

Super Award

Sherry nominated me for this award. Thanks so much! I appreciate the shout out and I do love keeping up with your blog. There are so many blogs that I love and so many super people in the blogging world. I now nominate Chelley, Ashley, and Courtney.

She's My Little Sweet Thing

Chloe Jo is big enough to start wearing her 0-3 month clothes. Tear. I'm also going to move up to size 1 in diapers. She's getting so big already. I wish it didn't go by so fast. She has started responding a little bit to me and giving me these gummy grins. So cute! She has decided that she doesn't want to sleep much during the day. I can get two good naps out of her and that is about it right now. But, it makes for some good sleep during the night so I'm okay with that! She slept from 11:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m. and then from 4:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. last night. Woo hoo! I'm still trying to implement some of the BabyWise plan. The whole thing just doesn't work for us. I do like the feed time, wake time, nap time cycle, though and have been using that part of it. She really is doing great and we are so blessed to have her. Now if we could just get her a sibling to play with....

Here are some pictures I took of her yesterday.

Wordless Wednesday

Is it a Boy or Girl?

I was asked this question tonight by two different people. Do you think they were both color blind?

The Grands

Grampy, CJ and G-Jo

I figured since I posted pics of Russ' parents with CJ, that I should do the same with mine.

Visitors

Chloe Jo had some visitors today. Her Nana, Papaw (Russ' parents) and cousin Alli came to see her. We had a good visit are are happy they were able to come!
CJ and her Nana
CJ and her Papaw

CJ and Alli

Hey Uncle Jeremy...

Your blue suede converse have nothing on my tiny pink ones! (Of course, mine aren't real converse....)

Love, Chloe Jo