Sorry about...

keeping you guys on the edge of your seats yesterday! My appointment wasn't until 3:00. Afternoon appointments always give you ample time to get nervous. I met Russ at the clinic and I was chatting along and he said "Are you nervous? You're talking really fast and your face is all red!" Which are the things that happen when I get super nervous (babbling and hives).

And for something else that was funny (to me, I'm not sure it'll be as funny to you guys): When the NP came into the exam room to talk to me, she walks in and we both started squealing like those annoying girls I didn't like in high school. We were so excited! Russ just sat there looking at us like we were crazy.

I go back in three weeks for another ultrasound and if everything checks out good then I will be released to an obstetrician then. Normally, Ob's won't make you an appointment until you are around 8-10 weeks. I'm lucky in a way (not in a way because I'm infertile) because at 10 weeks, I will have had three ultrasounds already! Woooo Hooooo!

Yuck, another doctor search. I'll probably just have them refer me to someone and save myself the trouble.

2nd Ultrasound

WE SAW AND HEARD THE HEARTBEAT!!! YAY!!! Sorry for yelling, I'm just so excited. Bambino's (that's what we're calling it, Russy didn't like Mahershalalhashbaz Ashkenaz) heart was beating away at 122 bpm. Normal is between 120 and 180, so it's the low side of normal, but it's still normal. It's measuring .674 cm which is 6 weeks and 4 days. If you go by my LMP (which I'm not anymore!), I should be 6 weeks and 6 days so we are much closer than we were last week and I'm happy with that. Estimated Due Date is April 19th. I have some wonderful pictures of Bambino (or in it's case, the blob) and my gorgeous uterus. I'll be scanning them and posting them soon.

YAY FOR BAMBINO!!!

The Summer Olympics

Are over for another 4 years. But, to recap the USA's medal count, here are the results:



-----



Number of Medals Won:

• Gold - 36


• Silver - 38


• Bronze - 36

Grand Total Medal Count - 110 (the most of any country)



-----



Records Breakers:

Swimming:

• Men's 400m Medley Qualification - Heat 4, Michael Phelps, 4:07.8
• Men's 400m Medley Final, Michael Phelps, 4:03.84
• Men's 100m Backstroke - Heat 4, Matt Grevers, 53.41
• Women's 400m Freestyle - Heat 5, Katie Hoff, 4:03.71
• Men's 4x100m Free Qualification - Heat 1, Nathan Adrian, Cullen Jones, Ben Wildman-Tobriner, Matt Grevers, 3:12.23
• Men's 4x100m Free Qualification, Nathan Adrian, Cullen Jones, Ben Wildman-Tobriner, Matt Grevers, 3:12.23
• Men's 4x100m Free Final, Michael Phelps, Garrett Weber-Gale, Cullen Jones, Jason Lezak, 3:08.24
• Men's 200m Butterfly Qualification, Michael Phelps, 1:53.70

Shooting:

• Men's double trap (150 targets) Qualification, Walton Eller, 145

-----



Medal Standings:



Gold:

• Men's Basketball
• Men's Volleyball
• Women's Basketball
• Track and Field, Men's 4X400 Meter Relay - LaShawn Merritt, David Neville, Angelo Taylor, Jeremy Wariner
• Track and Field, Women's 4X400 Meter Relay - Mary Wineberg, Monique Henderson, Allyson Felix, Sanya Richards
• Track and Field, Men's Decathlon, Bryan Clay
• Men's Beach Volleyball, Todd Rogers, Philip Dalhausser
• Track and Field, Men's 400 Meters, LaShawn Merritt
• Women's Soccer
• Women's Beach Volleyball, Kerri Walsh, Misty May-Treanor
• Track and Field, Women's 100-Meter Hurdles, Dawn Harper
• Gymnastics, Women's Balance Beam, Shawn Johnson
• Wrestling, Men's Freestyle Under 55 kg, Henry Cejudo
• Sailing, Radial - One-Person Dinghy, Anna Tunnicliffe
• Equestrian, Team Jumping, Mclain Ward, Laura Kraut, Will Simpson, Beezie Madden
• Track and Field, Men's 400-Meter Hurdles, Angelo Taylor
• Track and Field, Women's Discus Throw, Stephanie Brown Trafton
• Rowing, Women's Eight With Coxswain, Erin Cafaro, Lindsay Shoop, Anna Goodale, Elle Logan, Anne Cummins, Susan Francia, Caroline Lind, Caryn Davies, Mary Whipple
• Swimming, Men's 4x100-Meter Medley Relay, Aaron Peirsol, Brendan Hansen, Michael Phelps, Jason Lezak
• Tennis, Women's Doubles, Serena Williams, Venus Williams
• Shooting, Men's Skeet (125 targets), Vincent Hancock
• Swimming, Men's 100-Meter Butterfly, Michael Phelps
• Gymnastics, Women's Individual All-Around, Nastia Liukin
• Swimming, Men's 200-Meter Individual Medley, Michael Phelps
• Swimming, Men's 200-Meter Backstroke, Ryan Lochte
• Swimming, Women's 200-Meter Breaststroke, Rebecca Soni
• Cycling, Women's Individual Time Trial, Kristin Armstrong
• Swimming, Men's 4x200-Meter Freestyle Relay, Michael Phelps, Ryan Lochte, Ricky Berens, Peter Vanderkaay
• Swimming, Men's 200-Meter Butterfly, Michael Phelps
• Shooting, Men's Double Trap (150 targets), Walton Eller
• Swimming, Men's 100-Meter Backstroke, Aaron Peirsol
• Swimming, Women's 100-Meter Backstroke, Natalie Coughlin
• Swimming, Men's 200-Meter Freestyle, Michael Phelps
• Swimming, Men's 4x100-Meter Freestyle Relay, Michael Phelps, Garrett Weber-Gale, Cullen Jones, Jason Lezak
• Swimming, Men's 400-Meter Individual Medley, Michael Phelps
• Fencing, Women's Individual Sabre, Mariel Zagunis

Silver:

• Men's Water Polo
• Women's Volleyball
• Cycling, Men's BMX, Mike Day
• Track and Field, Men's 110-Meter Hurdles, David Payne
• Track and Field, Men's 400 Meters, Jeremy Wariner
• Taekwondo, Men's Featherweight (58-68 kg), Mark Lopez
• Track and Field, Women's 200 Meters, Allyson Felix
• Softball
• Women's Water Polo
• Track and Field, Women's 400-Meter Hurdles, Sheena Tosta
• Track and Field, Men's 200 Meters, Shawn Crawford
• Gymnastics, Men's Horizontal Bar, Jonathan Horton
• Gymnastics, Women's Balance Beam, Nastia Liukin
• Track and Field, Men's 400-Meter Hurdles, Kerron Clement
• Track and Field, Women's Pole Vault, Jennifer Stuczynski
• Gymnastics, Women's Uneven Parallel Bars, Nastia Liukin
• Gymnastics, Women's Floor Exercise, Shawn Johnson
• Fencing, Men's Team Sabre, James Williams, Keeth Smart, Jason Rogers, Tim Morehouse
• Sailing, Finn - Heavyweight Dinghy, Zach Railey
• Swimming, Women's 4x100-Meter Medley Relay, Natalie Coughlin, Rebecca Soni, Christine Magnuson, Dara Torres
• Swimming, Women's 50-Meter Freestyle, Dara Torres
• Track and Field, Women's Heptathlon, Hyleas Fountain
• Fencing, Women's Team Foil, Hanna Thompson, Erinn Smart, Emily Cross
• Rowing, Women's Single Sculls, Michelle Guerette
• Swimming, Women's 200-Meter Backstroke, Margaret Hoelzer
• Track and Field, Men's Shot Put, Christian Cantwell
• Shooting, Men's 50-Meter Free Rifle Prone (60 Shots), Matthew Emmons
• Gymnastics, Women's Individual All-Around, Shawn Johnson
• Swimming, Men's 200-Meter Backstroke, Aaron Peirsol
• Shooting, Women's Skeet (75 Targets), Kimberly Rhode
• Gymnastics, Women's Team, Shawn Johnson, Nastia Liukin, Chellsie Memmel, Samantha Peszek, Alicia Sacramone, Bridget Sloan
• Equestrian, Individual Eventing, Gina Miles
• Swimming, Women's 100-Meter Breaststroke, Rebecca Soni
• Swimming, Men's 100-Meter Backstroke, Matt Grevers
• Swimming, Women's 400-Meter Freestyle, Katie Hoff
• Swimming, Women's 100-Meter Butterfly, Christine Magnuson
• Swimming, Women's 4x100-Meter Freestyle Relay, Natalie Coughlin, Lacey Nymeyer, Kara Lynn Joyce, Dara Torres
• Fencing, Women's Individual Sabre, Sada Jacobson

Bronze:

• Boxing, Heavyweight (81-91 kg), Deontay Wilder
• Men's Baseball
• Taekwondo, Men's Welterweight (68-80 kg), Steven Lopez
• Cycling, Men's BMX, Donny Robinson
• Cycling, Women's BMX, Jill Kintner
• Equestrian, Individual Jumping, Beezie Madden
• Track and Field, Men's 110-Meter Hurdles, David Oliver
• Track and Field, Men's 400 Meters, David Neville
• Taekwondo, Women's Featherweight (49-57 kg), Diana Lopez
• Track and Field, Men's 200-Meters, Walter Dix
• Track and Field, Women's 400-Meters, Sanya Richards
• Track and Field, Men's 400-Meter Hurdles, Bershawn Jackson
• Gymnastics, Women's Floor Exercise, Nastia Liukin
• Rowing, Men's Eight With Coxswain, Beau Hoopman, Matt Schnobrich, Micah Boyd, Wyatt Allen, Daniel Walsh, Steven Coppola, Josh Inman, Bryan Volpenhein, Marcus Mc Elhenney
• Wrestling, Women's Freestyle 55-63 kg, Randi Miller
• Track and Field, Men's 100 Meters, Walter Dix
• Tennis, Men's Doubles, Mike Bryan, Bob Bryan
• Track and Field, Women's 10000 Meters, Shalane Flanagan
• Swimming, Women's 100-Meter Freestyle, Natalie Coughlin
• Swimming, Men's 200-Meter Individual Medley, Ryan Lochte
• Fencing, Women's Team Sabre, Becca Ward, Mariel Zagunis, Sada Jacobson
• Wrestling, Men's Greco-Roman 84-96 kg, Adam Wheeler
• Swimming, Women's 4x200-Meter Freestyle Relay, Allison Schmitt, Natalie Coughlin, Caroline Burckle, Katie Hoff
• Swimming, Men's 100-Meter Freestyle, Jason Lezak
• Judo, Middleweight (63-70 kg), Ronda Rousey
• Cycling, Men's Individual Time Trial, Levi Leipheimer
• Swimming, Women's 200-Meter Individual Medley, Natalie Coughlin
• Swimming, Women's 100-Meter Backstroke, Margaret Hoelzer
• Swimming, Men's 200-Meter Freestlye, Peter Vanderkaay
• Gymnastics, Men's Team, Alexander Artemev, Raj Bhavsar, Joey Hagerty, Jonathan Horton, Justin Spring, Kai Wen Tan
• Shooting, Women's Trap (75 Targets), Corey Cogdell
• Swimming, Women's 400-Meter Individual Medley, Katie Hoff
• Swimming, Men's 400-Meter Freestyle, Larsen Jensen
• Swimming, Men's 400-Meter Individual Medley, Ryan Lochte
• Fencing, Women's Individual Sabre, Becca Ward
• Shooting, Men's 10-Meter Air Pistol (60 Shots), Jason Turner

Until we meet again Olympics. See you in Vancouver, Canada in 18 months!

Michael Phelps Childhood Photo

So that's what that's supposed to look like....

Almost Another Year Older

Russ and I's birthday's are this weekend. It seems strange to me that we will be turning 26 this year. 26 marks the beginning of the move out of your twenties and into your thirties. But, this year is different. I don't really care much about our birthday's. Our anniversary happens to be next week and I don't feel the urge to take a vacation or write out a list of things that I would like to get as presents. I haven't even thought about what to get Russ and I'm not sure we are going to even do anything. I'm content. I have basically everything that I want right here, right now. I have a wonderful, loving husband. I have a baby on the way...finally. I have an amazing church family. I have a nice apartment and a new car. What more do I really need? For the first time in my life, I don't have a list of "wants." And that feels good.

6 Weeks

I have successfully made it past six weeks. I've had little to no cramping and what I've had has been minor and I haven't spotted or bled at all. I'm praying like crazy that our little guy will make it through and catch up to where he needs to be. Do you notice how I'm calling it a "he"? I'm convinced it's going to be a boy because I wanted a girl so badly. Then when it wasn't measuring up to par, my mind was put into perspective and now I don't care so much as long as he's healthy.

Ok, Enough With the Dreams!

My dreams are so real! I can't believe how much detail is in them. Last night, I dreamed that I went to work and when I came out I went to go get my car (Shark Bait Ooh Ha Ha). I got in and I drove to my red car (which I don't even own anymore). I left the keys in the ignition and the car running and got out to get some stuff out of my red car. While I was pilfering through my stuff, Shark Bait Ooh Ha Ha was stolen...and I didn't even notice until I rose up and started back to it. So, I freaked out, naturally. I went into the security area and told them that my car was stolen. They decided to call the police. While I was waiting for the police I decided to move my red car to a different area so I could keep an eye on it. After I moved my car I went back to the security office, which happened to be more like a house with three or four living rooms. So I sat down and here come my parents and family to sit and wait with me. When I say family, I'm not talking about sisters and brothers. They weren't there, but my grandpa and uncle from my dad's side were there and an aunt and uncle from my mom's side were there. They were just waiting for the police with me. The police were super slow for some reason so I need to go back out to my red car. I go back to the parking lot and it was GONE! Both of my cars were stolen and the only people out there were some guys who were cutting down a tree. I figured my car had been towed because the guys needed the space for the tree so I didn't say anything about the second car being stolen. I went back in and the police still hadn't shown up. Then my alarm started going off (I forgot to turn it off for Saturday morning) and I woke up very groggy. I had to think for a minute about my dream and finally realized that I don't even own the red car anymore. Though, I did go to the window to make sure Shark Bait Ooh Ha Ha was still out there. He was an he was sitting in the same space we had parked him in last night.

More Vivid Dreams

I don't usually dream, let alone vivid dreams that I can remember details about. But, after looking back at when my Orc dream was, I was pregnant then. I was pregnant when I dreamed about my fertility doctor being my dentist. Last night, I had another vivid dream. I've read and heard that your dreams become more vivid when you are pregnant and if that is truly the case, I have that symptom...which makes me happy since I have very few other symptoms.

In my dream last night, I was at a church camp. My dad and I were both counselors and we were watching a couple of kids play tether ball. Do you remember tether ball? I was a tether ball queen in grade school! I loved it! If only the Olympics had a tether ball match....ANYWAY, so these kids were playing tether ball and they were kids I recognized from church. One kid can be mean at times and he was cheating in the tether ball game. He wasn't hitting the ball hard enough to even go into the other person's range. He was just making it stationary as much as he could so the other kid would get tired and quit and he would win by default. So, I put a stop to that because it wasn't nice! Then Dad started talking about the kids' t-shirts. The cheater kid had a t-shirt on that said "I let my sister hold my hoagie!" HA! It had a picture of a house that had a hoagie sandwich sticking out both ends. I don't know if my dream brain was in the gutter or if I have actually seen this shirt. I don't think I've ever seen that shirt, but I could have. Either that or my dream brain is creative! We decided they didn't need to be wearing shirts with slogans....which happens to be a rule at the place I work. We aren't allowed to wear anything with slogans or brand names written on it. Then my stinking alarm went off so I didn't get to see Dad and I get on to the little kids about their inappropriate clothing. Why do I have to dream in the morning? I never get to finish my dreams!

Keep Dreaming Blogger Buddies!

Nerves and Dreams

Tuesday evening I went to bed thinking of nothing but my ultrasound the following morning. I was so nervous about everything and couldn't sleep well and woke up a few times during the night. But, I did have an interesting dream in the wee hours of the morning. The first thing that happened was that my mom made my sis, my hubby, and I a dentist appointment. I am a little confused as to why my mother was making these appointments for us. That is not normal anymore....maybe when we were in high school. Anyway, so we were going to the dentist. When we get there I'm the only one that will go in. So, I go in and there are a ton of people in the lobby waiting to see the dentist. I am finally called back and I get in the chair and, low and behold, my fertility doctor is my dentist! Then my alarm went off and I had to see the man I dreamed about in person. I thought about telling him that he was in my dream, but decided against it. I don't want him to take that wrong....or get a big head!

1st Ultra Sound

Russ and I went in today to see our baby. It was the most beautiful little dark spot in my uterus that I've ever seen. Unfortunately, it only measured at 4 weeks and 5 days. I'm 5 weeks and 5 days today so it's 6 days behind. If we had conceived the old-fashioned way I wouldn't be too concerned. I'd just chalk it up to my cycle being off. But, since we did IUI then there really is no room for discrepencies. We did see the gestational sack and the yolk. They both looked perfect. I go back next Thursday and we need to see a fetal pole and a heartbeat at that time. If we don't, then this is probably not a viable pregnancy. This really stinks. My doctor said that we don't need to be too concerned with it at this time, but I'm completely freaking out. Please pray for us during this difficult time.

Shout-Out, a Song, and Due Dates

First, I want to thank all of my faceless friends from the WebMD Trying to Concieve: Infertility Support Group message boards, my blogspot friends, and my sis. I love that you still come to my site and comment and support me in this journey. It takes real courage to be happy for someone who is in my position. You guys are wonderful friends and I really do appreciate all of you.

Second, have you heard the new Toby Keith song "She Never Cried in Front of Me?" If you want the lyrics, click here. Well, I like this song. It's catchy. I like the tune and I think Toby Keith is a good singer, albeit a little raunchy at times. The first few times I heard this song, I felt really sorry for the guy. But, then, after thinking about it more, I thought that he was probably a typical man and just didn't notice his woman was crying. Now, Russy is really great about this. If I'm crying or sad, he usually says something like "what do you want and how many?" Basically, anything to make whatever it is that is getting me down better. Typically, though, guys are so involved in themselves (because they can't multitask maybe) that they don't notice what the women are going through. So, I'm thinking that this woman probably cried in front of him and he just didn't notice.

Third, I'm having a difficult time figuring out my due date. This is really irritating. I plugged my information into WebMD which promptly told me my due date should be 4/16/09. Then I went to 4woman.gov and plugged my information in there. They said that my due date should be 4/24/09. An 8 day difference? I'm going to assume it's going to be around 4/16/09 because that seems to be the trend with some other calculators. I'll just have to see what my doctor says.

Nerves and Stomach Issues

I don't know whether I'm imagining the stomach issues or not. I would think I'm not because I'm not one to act sick when I'm really not. But, is it odd to have some stomach issues at only 5wks? I haven't puked up my guts or anything, but I have been a bit queasy at times. Usually a few crackers or a rice cake will clear it right up. Anyway, I'm just thinking it's too soon to have symptoms and wondering what your (those of you that have been here) take on it is.

I am super nervous about my ultrasound on Wednesday. I'm excited about seeing the little blob (I assume it's going to look like a blob at this point) but I'm also worried that WandBoy won't find anything. I haven't spotted since the day I thought the IUI didn't work. Now, looking back, I'm thinking that could have been implantation spotting. Who knows? My body is so out of whack that anything is possible. Anyway, I'm nervous and I still have two days to go until the appointment. Oh, the pain!!!

I found a Chinese Gender Predictor on the net the other day. I figured it would be fun so I plugged my info in and it said that I'm going to have a girl. I don't really believe in these things. It had a 50/50 shot! But, it sounds nice.

See ya Blogger Buddies!

Beijing or Bust!

I love the Olympics. This is really the only sporting event I'll watch on TV and get excited about. It doesn't even matter what competition it is. I was watching boxing the other day and was yelling for our guy to win. This post, though, is not about Kerri Walsh, Misty May-Treanor or Michael Phelps though all are extremely talented. I want to talk about the Chinese gymnastics team and the underage scandal. Personally, I believe that if their passports checked out and the IOC and whatever the other thing is that checks things like this say they are ok, then we need to quit worrying about it. So the Chinese girls looks younger than 16...so what? Chinese women age a bit slower than us white women. And my real opinion is this: even if they are 13 and 14, they still beat the Americans and everyone else. They obviously deserve their gold medals and we need to just leave it alone. Now, if it does come out that they really were underage, they should have to pay the consequences, but for now, their stories check out and I'm excited for them. With the Chinese, it's really an all or nothing game. Go China!

hCG Chart

I figured I would post this since it could be interesting for some of you. This is a chart of my hCG levels. It looks like I have a singleton in there!

Follow-Up to My Vent

I was asked to make a list of things appropriate to say to someone who is going through infertility. The list I came up with is as follows:

1. "I'll be praying for you." This is the most comforting words you can give a person, at least one who believes in God.

2. "You're in my thoughts." Again, comforting, but also letting the infertile person know that you understand this isn't an easy thing to go through.

3. "Try not to lose hope." This let's the infertile person know that you are hoping for them and that they aren't alone in their hope.

4. "This, too, shall pass." I love this quote and I use it all the time. It reminds me that this world is fleeting and if this doesn't happen for me, it will be ok.

5. "God will make a way." I love to think like this. God is in control and His plan is better than mine!

What you could say to someone who is newly pregnant after a battle with infertility:

1. "Congratulations." This is the first thing that comes to my mind. There is no need to be pessimistic at the get-go.

2. "I'll be praying for you." If you feel pessimistic say this instead of "I hope you can carry it to term." It basically means the same thing with a lot more tact.

3. "I'm so happy that this is finally happening for you!" If you know how long the person has been struggling to get to this point, just be happy for them. They need your support.

4. "You must be completely thrilled." Something like this let's the person know that you understand the struggle they had and that you know how much they wanted this.

I hope this helps some of you. By the way, the same principle applies for people who talk to others with terminal illnesses such as HIV and cancer. Be careful with your words. You never know when they might hurt someone.

Let's Talk About Vitamins and Minerals

I was very curious about my vitamin and mineral intake and whether I was getting enough of certain kinds for baby. The NP at the clinic had asked me about vitamins during my first appointment with her. At that time, I wasn't on anything. I had been for a while, but I had quit when it was clear I wasn't going to get pregnant on my own. She said that a multi-vitamin would be fine as long as I was getting enough folic acid (800 to 1,000 mcg for a pregnant woman). So, I went that day and bought a bottle of Women's One Daily vitamins and a bottle of Folic Acid supplements. I have taken them religiously ever since she told me I needed to.

Well, I was on WebMD, one of my favorite sites, and was looking at an article about prenatal vitamins. It had a list of what you, as a pregnant person, should look for in a vitamin. The list goes as follows:

• 4,000 to 5,000 IU (international units) of Vitamin A
• 800 to 1,000 mcg (1 mg) of Folic Acid
• 400 IU of Vitamin D
• 200 to 300 mg of Calcium
• 70 mg of Vitamin C
• 1.5 mg of Thiamin
• 1.6 mg of Riboflavin
• 2.6 mg of Pyridoxine (I understand from researching on the internet this is the same as Vitamin B6, if I'm wrong on this, please tell me)
• 17 mg of Niacin
• 2.2 mcg of Vitamin B12
• 10 mg of Vitamin E
• 15 mg of Zinc
• 30 mg of Iron

I'm going to assume this list is accurate since it is from WebMD. Even if it isn't, I am still following the instructions given to me by my doctor...ok, Nurse Practitioner so I'm really not too worried about it, more curious. I hit a few roadblocks when I was trying to add up how much of each I was getting. I just went off of my vitamins and the Slim Fast that I drink, not my other dietary intake. Well, Slim Fast doesn't have the actual amounts of each vitamin on it's nutrition label. It only has the daily percentage of each vitamin/mineral based on a 2,000 calorie diet. I tried to search it on the net, but didn't get anywhere so I had to work with it. I made my personal calculations off of the values a normal woman should be getting based on a 2,000 calorie diet since that seems to be the norm.

All in all, I am getting more than enough of everything except for iron. Keep in mind, though, that this is only based upon my vitamin and Slim Fast consumption. I assume I make up the iron I need in everything else I eat.

Also, if you were wondering, I don't only drink the Slim Fast for breakfast and lunch anymore. I have started to supplement my diet with real food, too.

Stay Healthy Blogger Buddies!

I'm Busy

While on the phone:

Russ: "What do you want me to do about my car?" (it broke down on the way home from a preaching gig on Sunday)

Me: "Well, I don't know!"

Russ: "Fine! I'll see you later!"

Me: (I was in the car with my parents at the time) "I have no idea what he wants me to do about it? Produce another car? I can't. I'm busy producing a person!"

2nd Beta Is In!!!

During the first week after you discover you are pregnant, a beta (hCG blood test) is supposed to double within 48 to 72 hours.

My first beta was on Friday and it was 44.

My second beta was this morning and it was 137.

First ultrasound will be next Wednesday.

Thanks for all the prayers and please keep them coming!!!

Just a Little Vent

It really gets to me that people can be so insensitive to others. I am totally guilty of this, but I try very hard to be more sensitive. I try not to say certain things or ask personal questions that are none of my business. Maybe this comes off as not caring, but it's better to not hurt someones feelings than to say something that could be rude, insensitive, or potentially damaging to a relationship. So, I have a couple of lists for you! You know how much a love making lists!



What you should NEVER say to an infertile person:

1. "Just relax." This is the worst thing you could say to someone who is going through infertility. They know and their doctor's know that no amount of relaxing is going to change the fact that you have a hormone imbalance, you have no fallopian tubes, or you have fibroids in your uterus.

2. "Go on vacation." Seriously? Just because you happened to go on vacation during ovulation and you just happened to get pregnant doesn't mean that's going to happen to everyone else, too.

3. "Stop trying." HA! For people who are infertile and don't want to be, this is like telling a maggot not to eat the dead bird on the ground. It's useless. The dead bird is going to be ate by maggots and infertile people are going to keep on trying to have a biological baby.

4. "Just adopt." This is a bit of a pet peeve of mine because I am guilty of saying this to someone very close to me. If I could take those few seconds back, I would. Adoption is a wonderful oportunity. Don't get me wrong, I have always wanted to adopt. But it turns into something very bittersweet when it becomes the only way you will ever become a parent.

5. "Is it you or him?" This is completely insensitive. Why would someone ever think that this is an acceptable question? No matter who it is in the relationship, we are in this together and it really doesn't matter and it's none of your business!

6. "You should be happy you don't have children. You can still sleep late and don't have to listen to crying babies." For someone who wants to have to get up for 2:00 a.m. feedings, this is not something they want to hear. After having tried for years to get pregnant, we are ready to take this next step and we want to have the responsibility to take care of a child. Also, it's a little sad that you aren't enjoying your baby the way you should if you think in this manner.

7. "There are worse things that could happen...like cancer." Unless you have battled infertility AND cancer, then I don't want to hear this. How would you know whether cancer is worse or not? Both of these conditions are devestating for families. Yes, cancer can end in death. So what? That thought doesn't take the pain of infertility away.

8. "Maybe God doesn't want you to be parents." This is just cruel. Enough said.



Now, here is a list of things not to say to a newly pregnant infertile woman. If you know someone who is infertile and may become pregnant please, I beg you, please don't say these things. They are insensitive and some are even rude.

1. "I didn't even know you were trying." I'm sorry for not revealing the most intimate parts of my life to you. Next time, I'll send you a card to tell you and I'll go ahead and enclose a calendar of my cycle.

2. "Well, I hope you can carry it to term." I, for one, am a realist. I understand that things happen and may not work out. I don't need to hear it from someone else. This is not only insensitive, it is cruel. Please don't say this to ANYONE!

3. "I didn't think you were ever going to have a baby." Thanks for the vote of confidence. I am so glad I decided to tell you about my pregnancy. Are you the least bit excited for me?

4. "You wanted this." This is sometimes said after an infertile, pregnant woman says something about her cramps, hemorrhoids, or gestational diabetes. Yes, we want to be pregnant, but we really aren't looking forward to all the pain that comes with it.

5. "Just be thankful you got pregnant." Yes, we are thankful. But, no one in their right mind would be thankful for all the lovely side effects of carrying a child in their womb. I.E. pain, cramps, hemorrhoids, gestational diabets, etc. Also, especially don't say things like this if you asked how the said pregnant person was doing.


I hope this makes some people think about the things they say. It made me feel better anyway!

Stay Cool Blogger Buddies!

It's Definitely....

4 Door Family Car: $15, 929.00

Infertility Treatments: $8,342.00

Digital Pregnancy Tests: $20.00

Seeing a "pregnant" on the test after three years of infertility: Priceless

Do You See What I See?

Yep, that's right! Surprise!

There is a good story behind this, but I'm going to leave that for another post. I went in for hCG beta and it was 44. Anything over 5 is pregnant!

More Decisions

I know I said that I was going to do one IUI and if that didn't work go on to the laparoscopy. I'm not so sure about that anymore. This is how I always am. I decide something, but when it comes right down to it, I can't decide if I want to stick with the original plan or not. The conundrum is this: if I do the laparoscopy, there might not be anything wrong in there or I might do the IUI with progesterone supplement and it could work this time. So what to do? What to do? I know my hubby is all for trying another IUI. I'm leaning this way if my doctor puts me on progesterone. I'm just going to have to see at my consult. Wish me luck!

Equation

110 million little swimmers + 3 mature follicles = negative

Humph.

Not as Upset Anymore

After thinking about and analyzing my infertility treatment protocol, I realized that the progesterone problem really isn't Obi-Wan's fault (you see, I'm not mad at him anymore, I'm calling him by his nickname again!). The first cycle it was low, it was a 9.82. That's not that low and we were hoping it was just a fluke. The cycle before that, it was 21. So, we waited for a cycle to start any treatment on it. So, the next cycle, my progesterone came back at 8.76. It dropped again and we talked about treating it during the fifth cycle. Unfortunately, during my cycle day three consult, the computers went down. Plus, we were deciding on the course of action to take: IUI's or surgery. I had a lot of questions for him during that consult and forgot to ask about it. I know, I know. I should write my questions down. I will do that if I have to have another cycle day three consult. So, basically, after obsessing for a couple days about trying to find a new doctor, etc., I realized that it wasn't really his fault. He has a ton of infertility patients and I don't expect him or anyone else in that office to memorize my chart. I'm sorry I vented about this problem and I'm sorry I was so mad about it. I'm going to blame that on the hormones. If I'm not satisfied with the way the next consult goes, I will be saying something, though. Fun, fun!

Walking with Russy

I finally guilted Russy into walking with me. We went together last night and tonight. Last night, we walked around the perimeter of the golf course. It was around 9:30 p.m. and the sprinklers were on. Russy looked at me and said "Want to go run through the sprinklers?" To his amazement, I said "YES!" So we took off across the golf course and had ourselve a good ol' time in the sprinkler system. Russ did get pelted really hard in the head by one, but it was tons of fun anyway!

Tonight while walking:

Black, suped up car passes us.

Russ: Do you know what the sound was?"

Me: "Sure. It was NOS."

Russ: *incredulous look*

Me: "I'm the coolest wife ever for knowing that aren't I?"

Russ: "You are the coolest wife ever!"

For those of you that don't know what NOS is: NOS

Stay Cool Blogger Buddies!

Walking in Sonlight

The church I am a member of has an annual Vacation Bible School and it kicked off last night. I'm teaching the 4's, 5's, and Kindergarten class. I taught this same class last year for VBS and loved it! I am usually co-teaching the 2's and 3's on Wednesday evening and it's nice to have children that can write and somewhat read for a change. Here is our class schedule:

Sunday: "Put God First" - Abraham,Geneiss 12:1-3; 18:1-19
Monday: "Take His Word to Heart" - Moses, Exodus 3:1-22; 4:1-17
Tuesday: "Save Your Friends" - Esther, Esther 4:10-17; 5:1-3
Wednesday: "Keep the Son in Your Eyes" - Peter, Matthew 14:25-33, Mark 6:45-51, John 6:15-21
Thursday: "Be Chosen Vessels" - Paul, Acts 9:13-18

Study God's Word Blogger Buddies!

Bible Class Funnies

My mother and I teach a 2 and 3 year old class on Wednesday evening.

-----

From the mouth of babes:

M: "I am going to go to the fair tomorrow night!"

T: "We don't go to the fair because of the freaks with weird hair."

-----

Rejection at age two:

A: grabs T-Roy's hand to hold

T: looks at her like she is insane and pulls his hand away

A: grabs his hand again to hold

Miss Jody: "A, I don't think T wants to hold your hand...."

----

While teaching class about the Ethiopian Eunuch:

Miss Lisa: "Who is this man?" (pointing to a picture of a man in a chariot)

C: "The Philadelphian man!"

-----

Miss Lisa: "T-Roy, what do you want to sing?"

T: "The Fishing Boat Song."

M: "When my dad and I go fishing, the fish never come!"

Frustrations and Orcs

I'm completely frustrated with my doctor. I really love the guy, but enough already. Good chemistry is only half the battle. Let's get some answers. Let's treat my problems and let's get on with it. Why is it that my progesterone has been under 10 for three cycles and nothing is being done about it? The last few times I went in (besides my IUI with the NP), he acted like he was swamped and didn't really have time to talk to me properly. I pay $71.00 for each visit with him! He should make the time to have a proper consult! And why has my progesterone been low for three cylces? He should have switched something up when it was low the first time. I'm so frustrated I could scream! Russ and I are staying in this city so I can continue seeing this guy and now I'm second guessing all of that. Plus, I am adamant about not blindly following your doctor and being informed and what am I doing? The exact thing I tell others not to do! I'm blindly following his orders because I'm a pushover and I won't stick up for myself. NOT ANYMORE! This is the last cycle we aren't going to do anything about my progesterone. If he doesn't prescribe me SOMETHING or answer my questions to my satisfaction, treatment with him is not going to happen anymore. I'm frustrated. I'm depressed. I'm confused about why this isn't working. I mean, COME ON! I'm thinking about drawing a map on my uterine walls for the little swimmers. Or maybe drawing a map on my ovaries for my eggies. Something isn't working right and I need answers. Oh, and why am I even checking my stupid progesterone levels if they aren't going to do anything with the data? I have to pay $91.00 for the blood work and $9.00 for idiots to puncture my vein to get the blood. $100.00 so that we can just see the number and not do anything with it? I don't think so. Not anymore. Unfortunately, if he doesn't make me happy the next time I go in, then I guess we're on an indefinite break. There isn't a reproductive endocrinologist in town and the closest one is three hours away so that is simply not going to happen. He has made a very hormonal, very infertile woman very angry.

On a completely different note, I had an interesting dream last night. My sis recently posted about a dream she had been having and asked for interpretations. I don't need interpretations. I know my dream just means that I am completely insane and not fit to be out in public. At the beginning of my dream I was in a wheelchair. Not because I had to be, just because I was. So I was wheeling along a red carpeted path that wasn't wide enough for the chair. At the edges of the paths were drop offs into water (I assume it was very bad water because I was scared the whole time). I kept losing my balance and my wheels kept sliding off, but I would always save myself just in time. I got to the end of the path and there was a large area with a door. I was there and these two Asian children came up to me. I had something that was extremely important and I didn't want whoever I was running from to get it. I gave it to an Asian boy about two years old. I wanted him and his sister to hide it for me. Then I was in a white house. I was with some other people (Russ wasn't in this dream, my sub-conscious apparently decided not to include him). We were hiding, waiting for the Orcs to come. We were going to fight them. I was behind a sofa and the others were behind other furniture and in closets. So, the Orcs came, but since we were in an American neighborhood, they had disguised themselves as Humans. They filed into the living room and we ambushed them. I had a round, hand blade and I cut one of them and ran out of the house. I ran through the backyard of the house next door and opened their gate. I saw an Orc chasing me. It was dressed as a curly, blonde headed woman. The gate I just went through was to a chainlink fence and it was a double gate with a rebar holding the left side in place. I grabbed the rebar and stabbed the Orc through with it. There wasn't any blood. My sub-conscious also decided to be PG for this dream. I ran back to the house and there wasn't anyone in there. I got into the closet, but the doors were too short to cover the whole opening. I covered up with some clothes to hide. Then I remember that we won the battle and we defeated the Orcs. So, insane? Yes. Too much Lord of the Rings? I don't think I've seen any of them completely through so probably not.

Blood Work

I went to the clinic yesterday to get my progesterone checked. This is the same hormone that has been low the last two cycles. The nurse called this afternoon and said my level was 8.02. So it went down again. The goal is to be above ten and I haven't been above ten in three cycles now. There is still a small chance that I could be pregnant this cycle but my hope is pretty much gone now. My doctor didn't put me on progesterone suppositories. I'm not exactly crying about that, but something needs to be done.

When I went to get my blood drawn, the normal phlebotomist wasn't there. She is out for five weeks. So, a girl calls me back and she puts the turniquet on my right arm. I told her that is the arm everyone uses. My left arm doesn't have a pokable vein. She pokes on my arm, trying to find a vein, for two minutes. She then decides to check my left arm. After deciding that I was truthful with her, she goes back to the left and says that my veins are really tiny and she has to go get someone else to do it. What!? Why are you a phlebotomist if you can't take my blood? The normal girl has never complained about my "tiny veins" and she had an intern that took my blood twice and had no problem. So the next lady comes in (I hadn't ever met her either) and she takes my blood. She poked the needle in soooooooooo slowly and then removed it at the same slooooooooow pace. I just wanted to say something like "In and out, not that difficult!" Then she proceeds to tell me that she doesn't usually take blood. She does IV's. She does them in the wrist and has hit bone before. WHAT!?!?!? Why would you tell me that when I am still holding a piece of cotton on my freshly poked arm? Seriously, talk about that on your own time, not when a patient is in the chair!

For a laugh:

Things medical personell should never say:

1. "Oops"
2. "I've hit bone before"
3. "I'm actually not qualified to do this procedure."
4. "You're trying to get pregnant? Are you on birth control?"
5. "Here, cover up with this see-through sheet."
6. "Today's my first day."
7. "Hmmmm. Never seen that before."
8. "That's some nose. I can fix that."
9. "Wow. You're a bleeder!"
10. "So, what are we doing today?"

Stay Fun Blogger Buddies!